Immigration Point

I'm drawn to this place...the Presidio as a whole fascinates me...its history, its forests, its trails, its views...even its present...people living on site, companies housed in the old barracks, bowling alley, post office, fire station, YMCA...all in the old-school buildings.  Its odd...a contradiction almost.  It doesn't make sense to me.  Its hard to explain.  Anyways...

It took some walking, some shuttling, and some map-searching, but I finally made my way back to this peaceful gorgeous place called Immigration Point.  I want to sit here and just...THINK...but I don't know how to do that.  I know how to overthink.  I know how to obsess.  I know how to imagine.  I know how to worry.  But I don't know how to just think.  Even as I went through the entire ordeal of finding this place, and even as I sit here now, I'm anxious that I don't have my cell phone, my blackberry, my access...to potential problems at work, potential phone calls or texts that I "need" to receive.  What does it feel like to completely relax without any other thought or concern than what is going on right in front of you, around you, inside you.  I'm not certain.  But, I want to figure out.

Oprah and Maria Shriver were discussing taking 10 minutes out of your day to just "be".  They joked that you can start with 2 minutes if 10 is too much.  I wonder if its something I can do...and if so, can I do it without expectation of what I get out of it?  Two minutes...here I go...3 - 2 - 1...

Is 2 minutes REALLY that long?  ha!  But I had a revelation as I just sat here.  I WANT TO FEEL CONNECTED.  That's what I long for and miss up here.  And its why I'm chained to my blog, my internet, my social networking, my blackberry.  I'm disconnected up here.  No relationships.  No intimacy.  No connection.  Its my heart's desire as a God-created human, to be connected to others.  Everything else, professional success, new life goals, family, dating...is futile without it.  

Wow...that's a pretty heady 2 minutes!  ha!

I'm gonna pack it up...I wonder how I get back home from here...