Ending the month on a high note...

Happy thoughts to finish out July:

The original list is hilarious ("Stuff White People Like") and reminds me how "white-washed" (term for a "Americanized" Asian person aka "Twinkie" or "Banana") I am, but the knock offs ("Stuff Asian People Like", "Stuff Korean Moms Like") are also endearing and make me realize just how in touch with "my people" I still am! ha! (PS - it's so like the Asians to make a knock off!)

Leanne on Project Runway bounced back from last week and brought it again. I loved this outfit she made...so beautifully constructed. I'd wear the skirt with a crisp white blouse.


I love this Alice + Olivia dress. (you have to click on the link to see how pretty the detailing is!) Even the color. I've never tried to pull off orange. I wonder if I could. But you have to have some gorgeous shoulders to pull this off (like Natalie Portman or Ashley Judd).

I thought Sonja's piece danced by Marc and Courtney on SYTYCD was so great last night. Twitch may be going home. At this point, I'm still so disappointed that Will is gone that I don't know who to root for. I think I'd be happy with any of the guys winning. I like the girls, just not crazy about them.

MM went on vacation for 10 days. That's a long time between dates for 2 people, don't you think? I'm kinda gonna miss him (though I'd NEVER tell him...guys get freaked out by that!) ...but since this is a list of high notes, I now have time to actually clean my apartment and do my laundry and catch up on my DVR list.

I bought this bathing suit online from Victoriassecret.com last night for my upcoming family vacay to Palm Springs. I know, I know: Who buys a bathing suit without trying it on? And do I really think that after not working out for over 3 weeks and having just ordered a medium pizza last night from Escape from NY and having had a total of about 12 bottles of beer in the last week I can wear a bathing suit, let alone a 2 piece? And look at the top of this thing...weird tan lines! Still, I liked it and I'm in my own la-la land of disillusion and the vacay is with the family (like they care?) and I'm gonna get some board shorts to cover all the bulges. I'll be fine.

Bring it on August! I hear you're the time of the year that ushers in the nice weather in the city. I'm hoping so. I've been up here 6 months now. Feeling good...really good! What a great choice I made!

7.29...of the day...

Word of the day:

impecunious - having very little or no money, usually habitually; pennyless

"In my experience, the impecunious lifestyle of living paycheck to paycheck is stressful and exhausting."

Fav of the day:

I made a very quick, very inexpensive, very easy, very tasty dinner last night.

1 - tilapia fillet (approx $3), seasoned with lemon juice, pepper, salt, and garlic powder, broiled on each side for 3 minutes.

1 - bag of Uncle Ben's long grain rice ($3), 90 seconds in the microwave


Drizzled with a whisked combination of lemon juice, butter, and dill.

8 minutes and $6 later...a delicious dinner...

I've been noticing...

• Kentucky is the ingrown hair in the armpit of the US that is the midwest. It's an irritating place to be stuck in.
• Humidity is torture.
• Waffle House + Steak N'Shake + Bob Evans + White Castle = obesity
• Even in Kentucky, I can find myself an adorable dress to purchase. I'm THAT good.
• Why do shows like American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance let every day Americans (probably a ton of whom are from Kentucky!) vote on things of which they are not the expert? (Still mourning the loss of Will...)
• Mad Men is a visually stimulating masterpiece. I see how some people don't get it. But me? LOVE IT!
• Women are the source of drama in relationships. If we simply make the CHOICE to not engage, we save ourselves heartache and can make life a lot easier on men and ourselves. (do not quote me on this. I may change my mind...after all, I'm a woman!)
• Great shoes garner attention (my Nine West Heech gladiators got 6 comments in the span of 30 minutes in Kentucky!)
• Dating is harder in your 30's because life is just busier. You've made a life and have interests of your own and trying to add a new person to the mix and fit into your schedule is difficult.
• Virgin America is hands down the best airline in business right now. American Airlines is by far the worst.
• Rewards points in any industry (travel, credit cards, etc) is just a scam to get you to trick yourself into spending more money. And it works.
• Public transporation rocks. Period.
• Being lactose intolerant, yet being obsessed with cheese, sucks.
• Snapple Goji Punch and Canada Dry Green Tea Ginger Ale are yummy drinks for the summer.

NO F'ING WAY!!!

I AM BESIDE MYSELF!  I didn't get to watch, but read in the news this morning:

Will got the boot on So You Think You Can Dance?????????  ARE YOU SERIOUS?  I FREAKIN' HATE THE PEOPLE WHO VOTE FOR THESE SHOWS!  They are SO RIDICULOUS!  He, HANDS DOWN, should have won this season.  I am reeling in shock.  I need to get home to watch the tivo'd episode...I may just cry.  

Will:  you are bigger and better than this show.  You have the technique of Danny but the passion of no other contestant in seasons past.  I heart you.  You, more than anyone, will move on to assured greatness...

...heading out...

I'm going out of town for the weekend.  (My shuttle's picking me up at 4:15am tomorrow...ugh)

I'll catch up on blogging when I return.  Until then, I'm going to enjoy a good night of packing, So You Think You Can Dance, Project Runway, a fruit smoothie, and I may even pop open a can of soda because I'm craving one...

Talk to you on the flip side...Monday...

7.22...of the day...

Before I start, I just need to say that I am craving a good 'ol fashioned peanut butter & jelly sandwich. I wonder if I can find a place on yelp that makes them for lunch...

Word of the day:

insensate - lacking sensation; lacking sensitivity; lacking sense

"After hearing employee issues day in and day out at work, I struggle to not become or at least not appear to be insensate."

Fav of the day:

Since the majority of my friends and family are all either married or in relationships, I'll ask that you bear with me and think back to a time...

...a time when you had a really, really great date.

I had one last night. Great company, great conversation, great food.

The company: none other than MM himself. He called and wanted to grab dinner and since I hadn't seen him since all the needless drama, I decided to give him a chance. Girl's gotta eat, right? And he looked good...handsomly unshaven.

The conversation: lively. A mix between newly revealed life details, desires to travel, social-economic issues around the world, inspirations, and some trash talk about the Lakers mixed in.

The food: Rex's Cafe. It's kinda hit or miss there sometimes with food. But, I ordered the seared ahi with mustard/cracked pepper sauce, mashed potatoes, and grilled asparagus. And for someone who hadn't really eaten anything in 3 days, let me tell you, it was heavenly.

The night ended with a really sweet kiss, a hug that lasted just long enough that neither of us wanted to let go, and a wave goodbye as he drove away. Home by 9:30...just enough time to get washed up and watch an episode of House Hunters before bed.

*sigh*...yeah, just one of those good ones that made you feel like dating isn't always a waste of time...

Weekends are too short...

Friday night I met up with my dearest Georgina who was visiting from LA. I actually ventured out of Russian Hill and over to Lower Haight. Had some beers at Danny Coyles (to watch some really rhythmically challenged men in their 30's dance to '80s music) and a SICK (in the really good sense) piece of pizza at Mythic Pizza. However, since I had been SICK (in the bad, very bad sense) for 3 days and had eaten close to nothing, beer plus greasy pizza slathered in Tapatio (hot sauce of the gods), wasn't such a great idea and I paid for it mightily the next day. And as hilarious as it must sound, I broke my toilet. At first I thought it was just clogged. But after plunging and snaking it, the water finally broke free...however now, when I flush, it just slowly turns and then dribble down the drain. Its dying a slow death in protest of all I put it through during my illness. RIP.

Saturday was MY day and I spent it entirely in bed. No, really, I did. ha! I ordered movies from On Demand (my new favorite thing to do!) and watched a marathon of "Shear Genius" on Bravo. I cleaned my apartment, nursed my toilet, and nursed myself as I attempted to get better.

Sunday, I gathered all the returns I had been saving and decided to make a trip down to Union Square to get rid of all of my "on-second-thought-this-looks-like-crap-on-me-what-was-I-thinking-spending-money-on-this" stuff. After all the returns, I decided to give the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale one more try. I went nuts. More shoes (stuff I totally didn't like online but loved in person and looked great on my feet!), more bras and panties, and a super cute Vince dress on SERIOUS discount. Had a few bites of a super delish deep dish pancake at the Neiman Marcus Rotunda and was off my merry way!

I later took the BART out to San Bruno, met up with Martin, and watched the FABULOUS "Dark Knight". As amazingly remarkable as Heath Ledger was as the Joker, my favorite character in the Batman comics has always been Harvey Dent and his tormented Two-Face. Aaron Eckhardt was phenomenal in the role and I'm glad Christopher Nolan did the character justice. I loved the entire movie. I wish my tummy would have allowed me to pig out on mall food court food. :(

Anyhoo...here are pictures of my Nordstrom purchases...

Soooo sad...

I don't know what happened! I was so excited! But as I logged on to the Nordstrom Anniversary sale at midnight, I wanted to cry. There was, quite frankly, NOTHING I wanted to buy. No dress. No coat. No blouse. Nothing. I thought the clothes were unattractive and there was nothing interesting or different about any of it. I feel depressed. Deflated. I did order some of the nice bras and panties...but that's not as fun. Other than that, all I got was 1 pair of shoes (and I'm not even certain I can pull these off!). *sigh*

R.I.P. MM

MM has officially been taken out of consideration for Susan's First Boyfriend In San Francisco status. I know alot of you were pulling for him...hoping I'd end up with the nice guy. Ack...but it was just too much.

As you may recall, before leaving for San Diego, MM and I had a phone conversation in which he explained to me that he was still figuring stuff out in his life and wasn't sure if marriage and children were in his future. He told me that he wanted to let me know in order to be fair to me and protect me from getting hurt. I was just really irked that we were having this conversation after only 2 weeks of casually dating. And that really started to fester in me.

When I got back in town, MM gave me a call Tuesday night and we shot the shit, catching up on our weekend adventures. It was pleasant and fine. We hung up. I get a call back immediately afterward. MM wanted to know if I had anything else I wanted to talk to him about. Huh? Honestly, what does this guy want from me? Is he being passive-aggressive and hoping his "future" talk would make me go away? Or did he want me to just be aware and dive in anyways? Did he want me to say that I was seeing other guys and he should see other girls? Or did he want the opposite? I was lost. I told him I had nothing else on my mind...and then immediately turned around and started typing him an email. HA! I am a coward. I know.

The long and short of it is that I came clean telling MM that his "future" talk annoyed me and threw me off guard. yada, yada, yada... He responds that he still wants to see me but we should see other people and take it slow. yada, yada, yada... I respond that I'm not sure we're really that compatible and I'm pretty sure it's not going anywhere. yada, yada, yada... Oh! And I end it by saying that as he starts figuring his shizznet out and getting his life together, if he ever wants to grab coffee or hange out, he should give me a call...and then I turned off my phone so I wouldn't have to talk to him if he called. I AM SO LAME!

Ack...I like him. But, the drama...it's too much...

7.17...of the day...

Word of the day:

anodyne - serving to relieve pain; soothing; innocuous

Instead of a sentence, I will just say that this word is appropriate for today's blog. I have been SICK AS A DOG the last 2 days...in ways I do not wish to describe. Let's just say that I've been an open spiggot and only Immodium has proven anodyne. I need my mother. No one should be sick without a boyfriend or mother to take care of them. ha!

Fav of the day:

It's BACK! Project Runway! The first couple episodes are always odd as you try to determine who your favorites will be and who they picked just for good tv. Based on yesterday's challenge, I don't know that I love anyone just yet, however, based on their previous work before PR, I love, love, love Leanne. I would wear every single dress from her Leanimal line! Here are some of my favs...

Nordstrom Anniversary Sale starts tomorrow! I'm so excited I could cry! I'm going online at midnight tonight to see what I can get and then hitting the store up at 7am tomorrow before work. Yes, I am THAT hard core.

The week ahead...

I'm spending my last night here in SD at my family home. It's relaxing...mostly because there's only 1 tv in this house and my parents are parked in front of it watching some kind of Korean programming. So me? I've brought a book, some dvd's, and have stationed myself in front of the computer to post about the week ahead.

I have decided that this is going to be a date-free week. Lame, I know, since it's not like I've been doing a whole lot of ACTUAL dating...more planning and flaking and emailing and obsessing. But, I want to get back to the things that I enjoy and that relax me and that focus me. I haven't worked out in a week and I feel lethargic. Plus Martin and I have planned to check out City Tavern's $2 Twosday...$2 burgers, pizzas, wings, and beers. Can't beat that. I also need to really buckle down and be engaged at work. Lastly, and most importantly, July 18th is the first day of the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale...the BIG ONE...and I need to prepare myself to get all my Fall essentials...my last big shopping splurge of the year...I promise...

With that being said, I was able to snag some cute things drastically reduced at Nordstrom as they try to get rid of merch to make room for the sale:

I love the collar on this Dorothy Lee dress. Look, I know it's not for everyone. But, I have a sleeveless blouse that has a very similar Victorian-esque collar and I get compliments on it ALL the time. I like the drama of the look.

Again, I know, this L.A.M.B. leather bomber jacket may not be everyone's cup of tea. But, I used to have a Hurley leather jacket in a similar style and I loved it...until I got too fat to wear it. And I'm fairly certain that the leather on this one will be a lot softer and just gorgeous. I kinda like how it looks a bit like a straight-jacket...since I've been acting so nuts lately...a bit appropo...

Kinda loving these 4 1/2" heels by Boutique 9. They're the perfect transition shoe from Summer to Fall...sling-back, but close-toed.

Not much color...but at least its not all black like I usually gravitate to...

My strategy for the Anniversary Sale is as follows:

• Anything Phillip Lim or Alice + Olivia, buy and figure out later if I want to keep it. That stuff will go quick and I need the chance to determine if I can afford to pay that much for any piece of clothing. ha!
• Boots for the Fall/Winter...try to stay away from black
• Winter Coat...again, try to stay away from black
• Of course, a dress of some sort...or two...
• Jeans...saw some Hudson's and some Seven's in the sale catalog
• Tights...saw some ones by Spanx in the sale catalog that I'm feeling
• Undergarments...the Anniversary Sale is the BEST time to be getting the really expensive bras and panties for good prices
• ...and anything original and interesting that will add a punch to my wardrobe...focus on jewel tones if I can...

I'm gonna take some risks this year...channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw (without all the sex and the cigarettes)...kind of a "throw caution to the wind" and a "who gives a flyin' f*ck what other people think" attitude when it comes to my fashion picks...wish me luck!

7.11...of the day...

Word of the day:

emolument - the wages arising from employment or labor; compensation

"Most would agree that to fully enjoy your job, you should not let emolument be the sole gage of your success."

Fav of the day:

Yes, though I can say I'm a sweeping fan of Witwitshua, I think I'm narrowing down my love and it's now growing into an obsession with...just Will. I love ya Twitch...and Joshua, you're a doll. But, Will? My goooooodness...he takes my breath away. He's in a class by himself as far as dance...and the body (holy canolli!)...and smile...and humilty...and charm...me likey! (And thank you Mia Michaels for telling it like it is this week when you said that Will looks tired - tired from carrying his lame partner all these weeks. Jessica gots to go home...)

Have a great weekend everyone! Though I'm sure you'll all do your best to enjoy yourselves, I can say with confidence that none can compare to my weekend. Just check out the face that I get to look at and kiss and hug and play with...(I know...you're SO jealous!!!) Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you my nephew...Caleb Stanley Lee Goodman...the miracle of all miracles...the cutest boy on the entire earth...

I don't know what I'm doing...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am bad at dating. I suck at it. I'm really good at relationships and I actually think that I'm really good at being single too. But the in-between times? I am horrible. I overthink everything. I'm a nutcase. And I'm insecure. (Ack...that's a painful thing for a 36 year old woman to say...isn't that something we're supposed to leave behind in our 20's?). I'm not good at emitting the aura of "I'm the shizznet and you should want me". And I seriously think that's what makes someone good at dating.

Anyhoo...

This past Wednesday, I had my 5th date with MM. I've been questioning if I'm feeling the connection with him. But, since I have terrible taste in men, I thought that I should push myself out of my past and at least try to see where this could lead since he's so DOGGONE NICE! (Is "doggone" a real word? I just looked it up online and the definition said "damn"...yeah...that's what I thought it meant) We went out to sushi and then to a bar for some drinks. It was fun...and as we progressively got more and more intoxicated, a lot of TRUTH starting coming out in our conversation. I said to him in that really drunken, slurred, way-too-loud-for-indoors voice that just screams "sexy" (not), "Don't you think we're SOOOO different? You're sooo...earthy...and I like high heels and big earrings. Don't you usually date girls who are more earthy?" (God, I'm charming when I'm drunk). And MM, in his DOGGONE NICE way, even when he's drunk, says back to me "Don't you find it interesting being around people who are different than you?...and plus, I don't think we're that different at all."

Ack! Everything I threw at him that night, he came back with something DOGGONE NICE to say in return. I'm beginning to think that someone needs to warn this guy to run as far and as fast away from me as possible! He's way too good. ha!

But here's the deal breaker...I should be the one running far and fast...last night on the phone, he told me that he wanted to be upfront and let me know that he doesn't know that he ever wants to be married or have children. Ok, I was a little thrown by this since we've only been dating for 2 weeks and we haven't even had the DTR discussion. But, WHAT he was saying also threw a curveball my way. I mean, sure, I'm not even certain that I want to DATE this guy...but do I even want to explore the possibility knowing that we want totally different things for the future? I mean, is it worth investing in a future of 2 weeks from now when I know a future of 2 years from now will never be the way I want it to be?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am bad at dating.

7.8...of the day...

Word of the day:

troglodyte - one who is regarded as reclusive, reactionary, out of date, or brutish

"There are phases when I want to just lock myself alone in my apartment, shut out the world, and become a bit of a troglodyte."

Fav of the day: I made myself a really, really good mango margarita last night. Refreshing and so yummy!

The recipe:

1 1/2 oz Corzo Tequila (I like the reposado)

3/4 oz Looza Mango Nectar

1/2 oz Cointreu (can substitute Grand Marnier or triple sec)

1/2 oz Rose's Lime Juice

I like mine on the rocks with salt

Long weekend...

I've never really been a huge 4th of July fan...meaning, its not one of my favorite holidays...but its nice when it lands on a Friday and allows for that extra long weekend.

MM finally ended up calling me to make plans for the 4th. We agreed to meet up on his turf in Marin, enjoy the nice weather, and spend the day with NO plans and just relaxing. Honestly, that was a great idea. I needed that! We made pizza at his place, had some beers and watched "The King of Kong" on DVD (highly recommend! loved it!) And since we weren't movie'd out quite yet, we went out and watched "Hancock" (another good one!). San Anselmo, the town he lives in, is this small little "village" (for lack of a better word) that made me feel like I was somewhere in the midwest. Slow moving, small scale...and very...white. I felt a bit uncomfortable, to be honest. But, he was oblivious to it and was very attentive to me so I let it slide.

Hanging out with MM is easy. The conversation is easy, the comfort level is easy, everything is easy. But...ack. I won't go into detail all the madness that is in my messed up mind. I just don't think easy is necesarily the most exciting way to start dating. That's all.

Saturday I took my car in for a tune up, shopped around at Serramonte mall (which, by the way, has the BEST Forever 21 I have EVER been to!), and met Martin for the usual lunch at Red Robin (you just can't go wrong with a 5 Alarm Burger and refillable french fries!) and we went and saw "Wanted". I liked it...very Matrix-esque and the guns were FIERCE! And as much as I despise Angelina Jolie, I will say she is sexy as F$&K.

Sunday, I ran some errands and was waiting on a call from bachelor #2. BST (Backgammon Shit Talker...long story for another posting) had left me a VM on Saturday suggesting we meet up in Haight and have noodles and cocktails. Sounded good, but I had trouble getting a hold of him and the plans seemed up in the air. So, when MM called and suggested we have an impromptu date that afternoon, I text BST and told him I'd need a raincheck for our first meeting. Ack. I know, I know...I'm supposed to be "dating around". I blew it. I'm hoping BST will give me another chance. Honestly, the more time I spend with MM, the more I'm noticing how very different our lifestyles are. Hmmmm...

All this dating, especially the online kind (note: online dating takes TWICE as long since you have to banter back and forth via email before actually MEETING face to face) is exhausting. I'm not cut out for it.

I'm soooo looking forward to getting out of town next weekend for the BEST date of all...the one I have with my nephew Caleb next Saturday!!!!

7.2...of the day...

Word of the day:

laconic - marked by the use of minimum of words; brief and pithy; brusque

"Most men are laconic which makes communication in relationships frustrating for women who tend to be more loquacious."

Fav of the day:

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I loved him as Charlie, the semi-awkward kid who became the team hero in "Mighty Ducks". I loved him more as Pacey, the in-the-shadows, underachieving best friend who ended up with the girl in "Dawson's Creek". And now, I'm so excited to see him in this new J.J. Abrams (love! love! love!) tv show "Fringe". It looks interesting, Mr. Abrams has never steered me wrong, AND it's got Joshua Jackson in it! Can't wait!

The Waiting Game...

Ack. After 2 really good encounters with MM, I'm now playing the waiting game. I had a feeling this would happen...and this is again, one of the reasons I suck at dating. I hate waiting for "the call"...that leads to "the invitation"...that leads to "the great time". When I left on Sunday and he said "Have a good week!", I pretty much knew that meant he had no intention of seeing me in the coming days...

I logged on to the dating site the last couple of days. I felt guilty about it. But, bam, whatdaya know, he'd been logging on too. Guess he's still keeping options open...so should I. I've had invitations to hang out Thursday night and Sunday night. I should go for it. Still...I wish MM would call...