Ode to my guy...

I heart my boyfriend.  (note: "heart" and "love" are different...don't want to needlessly or prematurely freak anyone out!  :) )  Some days I want to grab him and kiss him.  Some days I want to hold him and squeeze.  Some days I crave to see his face.  Some days I just like talking to him quietly.  He's a good one.  

I don't think you'd even believe some of the things he does and says to show kindness to me everyday.  I can hardly believe it myself sometimes.  He texts me to remind me to be good to myself that day.  He sometimes just tells me to breathe and be proud of who I am.  He tells me never to apologize for taking care of myself emotionally.  He says I'm pretty...and he means it.  He's a good one.

At the start of every relationship, I tell myself not to be THAT GIRL - the past version of myself in relationships - the crazy, emotional, erratic, insecure, please-don't-break-up-with-me girl that always seems to manifest once I take on the title of "girlfriend".  I've always hated that girl.  I've always been afraid of that girl. But this time, for once, I actually feel sorry for that girl.  I want to take that girl into my arms and tell her its ok.  I want to convince that girl that she deserves to be treated well and adored.  I want to tell that girl not to be afraid to be alone or afraid to be with someone.  I want to tell that girl that a relationship can be beautiful and healthy and safe.  

I can do this now because GQ has modeled that for me.  He's my constant reminder that a relationship can be beautiful and healthy and safe.  And I believe it.  

He's a good one.  

The Great House Hunt '09 - Part 3...

GQ and I went to an open house this past weekend for a really cute little bungalow in one of the more likeable areas in Oakland called Glenview. The place is super adorable...2 bedrooms, 2 baths, lots of different outdoor living spaces, a detached office, completely renovated, close to public transportation...

This is the front door...way off from the street...hidden...cute front courtyard, though...

I like the living area best. Sweet fireplace too...

Really, really big kitchen...

Master bedroom...opens up to a garden...

So, what am I waiting for, right? Well, first off, it's priced low...I mean a couple hundred thousand dollars lower than any of the other properties on the street. Hmmm...I wonder why. That immediately makes me raise a red flag. Also, one thing I really don't like in any home is having the master bedroom attached to the kitchen. There's something about separating your sleep space and your cooking space...and the smells that come along with it...that is important to me. You have to actually WALK THROUGH the kitchen to get to the master bedroom unless you come in from the outside. Plus, there were like 100 people at the open house on Sunday and I'm certain at least 10 - 20 of them were more "ready" to buy then I am at this point.

It's not my dream home. And it's not my ideal time. So, I'll keep looking...

Sometimes it feels just as tough...

...to be the one giving the bad news.  I know it can't compare, but...

I had to layoff 9 people at my office this past week.  It was brutal.  Long time employees.  Employees with brand new babies.  Employees with mortgages.  Employees facing a brutal economy, especially in advertising.  It made me physically, emotionally, and mentally sick...vomiting, tears, headaches...

So, today, I choose to be thankful...thankful that I have a job.  Thankful that I have a bit of security in a very uncertain time.  Thankful that I got to be the one to give the news, with some compassion and concern, rather than someone else who might have just given a script and said "collect your things".  

Thanks.

What's your pledge?...

• I pledge to get a water filter and drastically reduce my use of plastic bottles.
  
• I pledge to use more of my free time to volunteer in some way in my community.
  
• I pledge to compost in my new home.
• I pledge to say "thank you" more and roll my eyes in judgement less.
  
• I pledge to pray for my President.

What's YOUR pledge?...

I can't believe this day has come...

Mr. President

My Hero...

'What I Want for

 You — and Every Child 

in America'

By President-elect Barack Obama

Publication Date: 01/14/2009

Dear Malia and Sasha, 

I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey. 

When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me-about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation. 

I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential-schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college-even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity. 

I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other. 

Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country-but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free-that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility. 

That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something. 

She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better-and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be. 

I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much-although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential. 

These are the things I want for you-to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure. 

I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House. 

Love, Dad 

"Face Time" - I love this...

I love the new ad campaign for Dentyne. The whole concept is so "PSA"ish, but romantic in a way. And I love how it goes against the stream as all other agencies and ads are pushing for more and more digital/online work. Even cooler, the website has a 3:00 counter that only allows you to browse the sight for 3 minutes before kicking you off...all with the goal of getting us more "FACE TIME" with one another. *le sigh*...I love...

Have a great 3-day weekend everyone! May it be filled with ample "face time" with the ones you adore!

The Great House Hunt '09 - Part 2...

I like this place.  Its listed on Craigslist as Russian Hill, but its actually Nob Hill on the map.  Still, its got some nice renovations.  The caveat, as is with probably any place I find in the city, is that its a tenant-in-common (TIC). 

The front is not that impressive.  No interesting details and no bay windows.  Its San Francisco.  The least a home can have are some bay windows.

The kitchen's a good size and nicely renovated.  Not crazy about the cabinets, but its nice, huh?

 I like the built ins in this living area.  And do you see the lovely archway off to the right?  Its a small living room, but sweet.

I like the thought of the french doors leading to the bedroom.  In actuality, it doesn't offer much privacy...even though I live alone.  And, of course, there's the downside that its only a 1 bedroom.  

Decent location.  Nice upgrades.  Lovely original details.  Good price range.  Nice, very nice.  

What's your style?...

Sfgirlbybay mentioned that her home was part of a photo shoot for the new Boden catalog. I'd never heard of Boden so I went to check them out. I love their stuff. Its so classic, crisp...it screams "I've got my shizznet together" on the women who wear it. Problem is: it's not my style. You can't be short and curvy to wear this stuff. You have to be perfectly slender. And perfectly confident. And perfectly carefree. My friend Emily could totally pull this stuff off. She has a style, knows her style, and WEARS her style.

Me? I love fashion. I love clothes. I love my body (sometimes...not recently...but there are some good times...). But the 3 don't fit. Fashion doesn't fit my body. Clothing does fit my body. My body is best seen and presented naked. HAHAHAHAHA! Seriously, though. I don't wear clothing well. Most frustratingly, I've noticed that I buy pieces, not outfits. And though I've got some great pieces in my closet, I can never find anything to wear. Take for example a recent online shopping binge:

I bought this Loeffler-Randall blouse. (It looks terrible on the model, but its much cuter in person). I fell in love with the over-the-top collar. But, really, where can I wear this? I tried it with jeans, but it only looks good tucked in and my lower belly will NOT allow itself to be exposed via a tucked in shirt! With a black A-line skirt and tights? My short torso doesn't do well with the white on top, black on bottom, extreme colors, extreme shapes scenario. For me, it will probably end up looking best on a hangar in my closet.

I also bought this Ella Moss dress. Cute. But, I don't know that I can pull off the semi-bohemian look and I wonder if the stripes and the strap below the chest even provides enough room for my breastesses. I don't know that I have the hutzpah to pull this off.

Have you also noticed the difference just with the way the clothes are presented? In the Boden catalog, the women look carefree, confident, loving life...loving the clothes their in. In the Shopbop pictures, the women look dowdy, poor posture, dreading wearing these outfits. Ha! Interesting. Go advertising.

I need a set style and need to stick to it. Any recommendations for a short, plump, boobalicious body? Let me know! :)

The "Great House Hunt '09" has begun!...

I've been scouring the internet just looking through listings of potential homes to buy. I know most of these won't be available come July when I'm ready to buy, but I still want to see what's out there and how much I should expect to get for what I'm prepared to pay. So, if you wouldn't mind...

House #1: Cute cottage in desirable Lafayette. 1br/1ba. Walking distance to downtown Lafayette and BART. About $100k out of my comfort zone, but it's Lafayette...you're lucky to find anything under $1M. Needs some work.

GREAT curb appeal. Love the little cottage feel. But the driveway looks beat down.

Kitchen needs upgrading. But it's HUGE!

Love the brick fireplace. But the living space seems a little long and narrow to me.

Ok, so it's not my dream house. But its a start. I'll keep looking...

Q109 Plan of Action...

Sound serious? That's because I am! I have a plan for the first 3 months of the year and I'm gonna stick with it. No, its not a workout plan. Not a nutrition plan. (God no!) Not a savings plan. Its more like a things-to-do list, but a lot more fun!

1. See "Wicked". I have been DYING to see this. I'm the biggest fan of this musical...but have NEVER seen it! I recommend it to everyone...but have NEVER seen it! I have the soundtrack and know all the songs...but have NEVER seen it! Ha! I. WILL. SEE. WICKED...before the end of Q109...I will pay top dollar if I have to (but I hope not to! :) ) "...I hope you're happy in the end~~~~~I hope you're happy.......my friend~~~~"

2. See the SF Ballet again. I was so mesmerized by the Nutcracker. And with a stellar recommendation from my friend Jeannie (who got to see the SF ballet perform in Washington DC...huh?), I have set my sights on Program 6 which includes a "West Side Story" suite (fun!) and the one that Jeannie saw, "Within the Golden Hour". This particular performance is not until the beginning of April, but I'm buying my tickets Q109!

3. See the YSL exhibit at the DeYoung Museum. I MUST! How can I say that I'm obsessed with fashion and all things couture and NOT see this? I am salivating just thinking of it. No brainer. I may even do it this weekend. GQ has class all weekend, so I might just head over there on my own and savor every minute...drinking in the lovliness. And if I don't, it shows until April 5th, so I have ALL of Q109 to find time to see it!

4. Check out candidates for "my future neighborhood". I'm buying a home. July '09 is my target date. But since my explorations of Northern California have been limited to Russian Hill, SoMa, and Montclair, I have to expand my options. In Q109, I commit to visiting and spending some quality coffee drinking/eating/shopping time in Cole Valley, Bernal Heights, Duboce Triangle, North Berkeley, Albany, and Walnut Creek. It may be unlikely that I'll even find potential homes in any of those areas, but that's where I'm gonna start my search. Wish me luck!

It's gonna be a FUN Q109, my friends! Come along for the ride if you'd like. Would love some company! :)

Thanks crazy lady...

Suze Orman scares me a bit. The over the top jackets. The bulging eyeballs. The syncopated speech. And not to mention the fact I truly do NOT believe that's how her name is really spelled. But, in any case, I listen to her. She makes sense. And on Oprah today, she encouraged me to do something I have been scared to do for a long time.

When I was in college, I got myself into a crapload of credit card dept. I mean...a crapload. Like, tens of thousands of dollars and then some. It took me over 15 years to pay it all off. And this past year, I finally did it! YAY! So now...I'm set to buy a house. All eyes on a cute little bungalow with period details but updated renovations hopefully in a safe and adorable neighborhood. In order to do so, well, I've got to try and get a loan. And in order to get a loan, well, I've got to check my FICO score. 

I've imagined my score to be low...maybe in the 500's? I just expect to pay high interest rates. But, man, I've worked HARD to get my credit back into good standing and I did HOPE that it would be better. Well, I faced my fears, thanks to Suz-E! I went onto myfico.com and within minutes, my score appeared! FREE! And...WAY BETTER than expected...in fact, in the high "good" range...and close, very close to "great"! I AM SO EXCITED!

Everything's falling into place...I'm gonna be in my OWN home in 2009. I'm SURE of it! :)

Thoughts of Spring in the middle of Winter...

While bundled up in my pj's with my "house socks" and heater on, I saw on the weather report that we're expecting 70 degree weather this weekend. WHAT? 70 degrees in San Francisco in the dead of winter? NOOOO! I'm not ready for Spring yet. I love the Winter. And I still need a few more months to save up to DO Spring properly...meaning adorable dresses and THESE:

...glorious Christian Louboutin petal sandals for Spring. Totally impractical. Totally to-die-for. $995. No problem. Who needs a home? Who needs food? Who needs anything other than these sandals?

When did LOVE become a bad word?...

I use the word "love" all the time. I love the San Diego Chargers. I love pineapple gelato. I love San Francisco. I love beer. I love fashion. I love my family. I love my friends. I love "Gossip Girl". love, love, love...

I don't use it flippantly...I really do have strong feelings towards these things...some more than others...but enough to want to stress an importance-level...enough to want to signify that there is a place in my heart for all of it...

I accidently said the "L" word to GQ...twice. Once, after our phenomenal holiday weekend together (Nutcracker, homemade Christmas dinner, presents) I was rushing to catch the BART and when I was getting out of his car, I kissed him and said "love ya". It hit me like a ton of bricks as soon as it happened. I ran off to catch the train and was scared to death of his reaction. (note: "love ya" and "I love you" are DIFFERENT...but to guys in new relationships, they're the same terrifying thing).

Saturday night, after 3 beers and an elated Chargers victory, GQ and I were chatting on the phone when an interview with Philip Rivers (Chargers' QB) comes on the tv. I rush to get off the phone and say "Gotta go. I love you. Bye". (note: "I love you. Bye" and "I love you" are also DIFFERENT...but to guys in new relationships, they're the same terrifying thing).

I freaked myself out with both incidents. But I chose not to bring it up with GQ. I didn't want to make a big deal of it. I say it when I get off the phone with my parents, my friends...why not my boyfriend...(uhhh...how about because its only been 3 months, crazy-Asian girl!?!). I can tell he has since been wigged out about it a bit too. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to set myself up to hear that he's "not ready yet" to say those words, etc. etc...

Ack. Grrrr. Ugh. Stooopid.

...get over it, Susan...

Almost makes me not want to watch tv...

I hate commercials. Not so much because they're wasted time and space...which they are. But, mostly because so many of them are so stupid, lame, annoying. Working in advertising makes it worse since I know how much companies pay these agencies to come up with the ideas. Argh.

Two that I particularly hate right now...to the point of making the effort to either mute the tv or change the channel entirely...are the J'adore perfume commercial with Charlize Theron and the "I stink" Geico commercial with the smelly guy doing yoga. I hate them, hate them, hate them. The J'adore ad, they way Charlize says that word...just makes me laugh, and then get really annoyed. The "I stink" guy just GROSSES me out altogether and then makes me pissed. I'm curious as to which agencies produced this trash, but that would just make me more angry.



Thank goodness for DVR...though I hear the lowlifes in the ad world are trying somehow to make it so you can't fast forward through the commercials...DO NOT PISS ME OFF!

Welcome back...

Ha! I feel like I've been out of commission for a LONG time! I took 2 1/2 weeks off from work. Man, that felt good. But, it's hard coming back. New year means every employee wants to talk to HR about what's in store for them. My response to them all: Be hopeful. I think this will be a great year for my office.

2008 was quite possibly the best year of my life. That's a bold statement, but I feel so good about what happened this past year. I've had some really phenomenal years in the past...but '08, it just felt like everything fell into place...I should've played the lottery! New city, new job, new life, new man...NEW = GREAT...and when you can interchange those two words, then life is pretty much sweet...happy!

I'm hopeful for 2009. I really am. And though I'm not one to make resolutions, I definitely want to set some goals for myself:

• Buy my 1st home!!!
• Get involved in some business networks and charitable organizations.
• Run a 10k...maybe...ok, yes, a 10k...at some point...by the end of the year.
• Host a LAC meeting (yes, Emily, I really, really do want to do this! :) )
• Wear more form fitting clothes...ha! Funny goal, but I need to transform my wardrobe. Stacy and Clinton from "What Not to Wear" swear by this for curvier women. I must try!
• Go on a REAL vacation...Hawaii, maybe?
• Add $xx,000 to my savings account.

I think this is all doable...except for maybe running the 10k! ha! But, I'm motivated, excited, and HOPEFUL!

Happy 2009 everyone!