Welcome December...

So, over a few glasses of bourbon ('cuz we're classy like that), my friend Aaron and I were discussing the world of dating.  Aaron is recently married to this saucy, wonderful woman...the man scored.  But, he always has interesting insight into the singles scene.  As I shared with him the ridiculousness that has been my you-can't-be-serious November dating life, he came up with this theory.  November brings all the nutcases out from the woodwork.  The men can smell the desperation in the air of women who shudder to think of spending holidays single.  And in the stress of finding a date to various holiday parties and social gatherings, women drop their standards a bit...a warm body, any one really, will do.  Interesting...

Let's recap my November, shall we?

Did I tell you about Worst-First-Date-Ever guy?  Have I mentioned that since that date, he has called, text'd, and email'd me at least 20 times?  And after finally having to email him to tell him straight up I'm not interested, he still text me again a week later.  

Did I tell you about Perfectly-Happy-Being-Unemployed guy?  Have I mentioned that he's living off his unemployment checks (which he refers to as "free money...cash for doing nothing") and wants to "ride this train" until it runs out?  And I might also mention that after putting in his order, he told the lady at Starbucks that the drinks were on me.  

Did I tell you about Can-I-Ask-You-For-Career-Advice guy?  Have I mentioned that over drinks, after finding out what I do for a living, he went on to tell me how miserable he was at his career, stuck, depressed, and asked me how to make a life change?  And I did consider charging him a consult fee after the date.

Did I tell you about "You're-a-bad-bad-girl" guy?  Have I mentioned that throughout our first conversation he would randomly (and I do mean RANDOMLY) respond to things I said in a weird wanna-be-porn-star voice with "you're a bad, bad girl"?  And I swear to you I was talking about things like work or family or Thanksgiving...or the weather or sports...or healthcare...

What a month.  Needless to say, December could not have come soon enough!

Oh, and hey douchebags, deadbeats, and crazies.  I'm letting you know here and now, I'm ok with being single through the holidays.  So, please crawl back under the rocks from whence you came...