What'd I miss?...

It's been awhile since I've written a new post.

Let's see:

• Bin Laden was caught & killed
• LinkedIn went public thus starting what everyone fears to be a bubble
• The Rapture came and went
• Oh yeah, and I was told I'm being laid off, I professed my love to my ex-boyfriend who told me he's too F'd up to be in a relationship, I turned 1 year closer to 40, and I may be suffering from depression.  

Ok, I'm being a bit melodramatic, but yes, its been a tough month.  May 2011...I'll always remember how you screwed me over.

I'm actually more in a funk than depressed.

I've never had to look for a job that I actually needed (always found jobs while already gainfully employed.  I actually still have my job until the end of August, but it's pretty impossible to do a job where 1) you're not needed and 2) you're not engaged)  It's scary...I don't want just any job. I want one that I'll LOVE! And I won't compromise.  Thanks to Suze Orman, I've got about 5 months of savings (sorry, Suze, just hadn't gotten to that 8 month mark, yet)...but man, having a mortgage staring you in the face is tough...

After almost 2 years of being broken up with GQ, I realized I've never really gotten over him.  So, instead of wondering "what if", I just told him.  And he, in his kind, gentle way, told me he's got things he needs to work on and just can't be in a relationship right now.  I appreciate his honesty.  That, and he can go to hell. :)  j/k...kinda...  What I do know is that I don't want to have my heart broken by him anymore.  Once was brutal...but twice now just is this close to unbearable.  I HAVE to move on.

Oprah says she loved turning 40.  I guess that's easy to say when you're almost 60.  I always think people who say that mean it because they're married, have kids, and they've already entered into that stage of life.  Me? I don't think I'll be embracing this last year of my 30's...I'll hate every minute of it.  Ha!  At least for the first 8 days thus far...

How many times does one have to pick themself up, dust themself off, and move on?  I feel like I've had a lifetime of these moments to date...I'd like to just stop falling for awhile...