Burning Man, Shmurning Man...

Let me start by saying that I am, for the most part, ALL ABOUT self expression. True, I myself am fairly conservative when it comes to these kinds of things. I don't paint myself all over, dress up in costume or run around naked, or shout and scream and howl at the moon. However, I've come a long way in what I am able to understand in others. I'm a lot less judgemental (thank God!), and I even APPRECIATE so much more people's abilities and needs to express themselves.

I get what Burning Man was all about in its inception. Burning a wooden man to symbolically burn away all the pain, heartache, fault, guilt in one man's life. In fact, when I was younger, at a summer church camp, we wrote down our biggest struggle on a piece of paper and burned it in the campfire. That symbolic act was very powerful for me.

I get what Burning Man evolved into. A celebration of the free spirit, of art, of music, of people expressing themselves to embrace who they are. I am friends with many creative people (heck, I work in advertising!) and I'm amazed at what people see through their eyes that I would never have noticed. I love art. I love music. I love creativity.

But, what Burning Man is today...that I do not get.

Growing up in SoCal, I had never heard of Burning Man. Please, I lived in the suburbs and did all my shopping and dining out at chain stores. People's self expression came in the form of what color Hurley shirt they'd wear that day or what ammenities package they'd get with their new Audi. But, Burning Man is quite "the thing to do" up here in SF. You HAVE to go to Burning Man. Stores (Trader Joes's, Sports Basement) have entire display sections of products "suitable for Burning Man". People count down the days to when they leave for Burning Man. It's a BIG DEAL up here!

MM (no, we're not seeing each other anymore) is going to Burning Man. He would say for weeks how he needed to prepare for Burning Man. So, I thought I'd jump online, do some research, and help him get ready. I read blogs of what you'd need when you were there. But, I was really turned off as I read more and more of what Burning Man has become: a week of complete hedonism: sex, drugs, and anything/everything for shock value...the freedom to do whatever you want without consequence...all under the guise of "art" and "celebration of life".

I don't mean to come across as small-, closed-minded. Really? Go for it. Pay the $200+ for admission. Spend a week in brutal, desert conditions. Sleep around, drug it up, risk being raped, pilfered, and beat up. "Celebrate life" and "appreciate art". But, it kinda ticks me off that this event still wants to pretend that it's about what it was when it first started...simply because they continue the tradition of setting aflame the "burning man".

I admit, I've never been. And I don't even know why I'm so fired up about it. I just think I'm annoyed at this point because this city is so obsessed with it.

Forgive me...

Musings...

I'm back from vacay. I'm still exhausted. Exhausted when I left and exhausted when I arrived. I think I need to find a good multi-vitamin. Maybe that will help.

• I really enjoyed driving down to LA from SF. I left at 4:00am and it took me about 5 hours of leisurely, relaxing driving...until I hit Van Nuys and a complete stop on the 405S. I hate LA traffic.


• I endured the gamut of temperatures this weekend: 105 in Palm Springs, 85 in LA, 65 back home in SF. As my sister says, "California is a BIG state".


• The LAMB booties I listed a few postings ago are over $500. I bought a fake pair at Payless for $27.99. Not bad.
  
• Just because hotels are nice, doesn't mean they throw nice weddings. I went to one at Shutters at the Beach in Santa Monica. The wedding was "meh". But, man, it was good to see my friend Aaron so happy.


• I saw Ludacris at Casa Del Mar hotel in Santa Monica (having drinks before the wedding). I was about to say "Luda!", but instead I nodded and said "Wassup". I'm so cool.


• I started reading "Eat, Pray, Love" on the airplane home. I resisted for so long because its one of those books that women all read and want to feel connected to each other. I'm not down with that. (ha!). But, I just finished the section on Italy, and I'm so inspired. I've always wanted to go...


• The first week of the Olympics is always more exciting than the second. With swimming and gymnastics over, I'm wondering how engaged I'll continue to be.


• My family is the shizznet. Period. 3 days of togetherness in the blistering Palm Springs heat will not make me feel otherwise. :)

You know that saying "You can always go home" (or something like that...I'm so bad with "sayings"). I think I always had that as a safety net when I moved up to SF. I thought that I would give this city and this job a try for a year and if it didn't work out, I could always go home. I could probably even go back to my old company if I wanted to. But after this past weekend, I think I finally put that safety net to rest. I really, really do not like LA. I hate the traffic. And, after visiting my old company, I realized, too much has changed...and not enough has changed...for me to ever want to go back.

So, here I am, back in SF, carless (left it with my folks in SD), safety-net-less, and feeling a bit like I'm starting over again...or least maybe the 2nd chapter of my story. It's kinda scary...

Exhausted...

I find it odd that it's late Sunday night and I am beat.  What did I do all weekend?  Absolutely nothing.  No really...I did NOTHING.  From the moment I woke up on Saturday until now, I did not leave my apartment once.  I didn't shower (yuck).  I didn't change out of my pajamas (double-yuck).  I ate whatever was left in my nearly empty fridge, ordered a large pizza to hopefully last me two days, had the Olympics on in the background from morning to late night and ordered the entire first season of Gossip Girl off of itunes and watched all 18 episodes. 

 

I'm dreading Monday morning.  I have 2 days of work and then I'm off on vacation.   I'll be useless those 2 days.  Ha.  I've already checked out and turned off.  I'll be back next Monday.  Until then, I'm going dark.  TTYL...

8.7...of the day...

Word of the day:

spoony - foolish; silly; excessively sentimental; excessively in love (or heavy like...added by me)

I think this is such an appropriate word for today. It's not that I've been spoony over MM. But, I like him. I like the thought of him too (Meaning, he's the kind of guy that my friends and family would like. He's nice. I like having the prospect of dates on the weekends. Yada, yada.)

Still, I'm stuck in the thought that something is missing and even after a month and a half of hanging out, it's still not there. I could go into detail. But, really, overall, I just want to find a guy that is really into me (if that makes sense), someone who pursues me and doesn't rely on me to make all the effort, someone who I feel attracted to and I can tell is attracted to me. I don't want it to be too comfortable too soon. I want a partner. I want respect. I want...well, more than I'm getting from MM. So, I think it best to not get too attached and instead of the "see how it goes" attitude, I want to move on. I'm moving on. Back to weekends alone holed up in my apartment. ha! boo hoo!

Fav of the day:

I MUST HAVE THIS OUTFIT! I WILL HAVE THIS OUTFIT!

BCBG adorable, romantic, flirty dress

Hot, hot, hot LAMB booties

And...for the big reveal...

Getting my eyebrows tattoo'd hurt like a muther-f'er. I didn't love the final shape. And I suspect that they're uneven. BUT, I woke up this morning, took a 100th look at it, and decided I do actually like it. I'm waiting for it to fade a bit (WAY dark right now). I did my makeup in 5 minutes this morning! So...here it is...

I need a good weekend. Let's hope for a good weekend...

I'm FINALLY gonna do it...

I know many of you will not understand why I'm doing it. Others will know exactly why and be envious (and even nervous) for me to do so. But, I've been wanting to for many years now, the techniques have gotten better and better, and I can now actually afford myself the luxury. At 4:15pm today, I am getting my eyebrows tattoo'd! HA! No, not like a rose over my eyebrow or Chinese characters that translate to "hot stuff"! :) I'm getting permanent make-up.

I have been wanting to do this forever. For those that have known me a long time, you may know that I am the EXPERT at putting on an eyebrow. I was forced to become such because at a young age, I overplucked, misshaped, and eventually "groucho marx'd" myself into a near eyebrowless creature who is now a slave to her MAC brush and Clinique brow powder. Without it, I look dead. Or worse...like Whoopi Goldberg. I couldn't go out in public without "putting on the brows."

My mom had hers done over a decade ago. I remember it well. It scared the crap out of me. BLACK tattoo'd brows that eventually faded to an odd greenish-grey color. Ha. But, the new methods are SO MUCH MORE realistic and I found someone on Yelp (my SF savior site!) who had such great reviews, I had to go for it. Here is an "after" shot from one of the Yelp'ers. I'll try and post pictures tomorrow of my finished product!

I don't know if I can express how much easier this will make my life. It will take at least 10 minutes off my make-up routine. And, I won't have to worry about how naked I look after working out or swimming...and I won't have to worry about only having 1/2 a brow on warm days when my makeup might smear. Peace. That's what this process and $300 will bring me. Peace.

*sigh* and smile...

Healthy And Happy Living...

When I first made the decision to take the job up here and relocate, I made a turnaround day trip on December 31st, 2007 to visit the apartment I had rented (sight unseen!) and take some measurements and pictures of the place. Annie, the girl moving out, was telling me about how safe Russian Hill was and how much I'd end up loving San Francisco. I remember her exact words as she described this town: "We're into healthy and happy living up here." Healthy and happy living was a great way to describe my weekend and felt like such an exclamation point to the end of my first 6 months.

I spent all day Saturday cleaning my apartment and reorganizing my closet. I felt so revived. Its amazing how much stuff I thought I needed 6 months ago moving up from LA. I literally pulled out close to 1/3 of my clothes in my closet and didn't even think twice. I knew I'd never wear any of it again. Why keep it? I feel almost like I lost 15 lbs! Lighter!

Sunday, Martin and I went for a hike on the Tennessee Valley Trail in Mill Valley. It was so awesome. Even on a chilly, overcast day, it was gorgeous. And just being able to share with Martin how happy and content I've been feeling was affirmation. We shared an awesome lunch at Pacific Catch and then I dragged him along with me to set out and find my new bedding.

Thanks to all who emailed me links and suggestions for the yellow and white look. I, however, went in a totally different direction. Ha! I found this organic cotton set at West Elm. Organic cotton - I don't know that I would've found it important to get something like this in LA. But, in honor of "healthy and happy living", I felt drawn to the set. And it still gives me the feeling of "fresh, light, and lovely" that I've been searching for. Because it's a bit pale, I'm mixing it up with some bold pillows and throws in indigo. I also ordered a new rug online. My last touch will be a new lamp shade to compliment it all and voila...a new apartment! :)

And as a cherry on top of a great weekend, I got a sweet email from MM while he was on vacation. I was kinda wondering if I crossed his mind while he was out of town. It's good to know I did. :) As I've said time and again, I'm really not good at dating and fight my "Crazy Asian Girl" tendencies all the time. But, I actually feel pretty good about the way things are going with MM...or at least at how I'm responding to it all.

End the weekend with a fun phone call from my mom (she and my dad are taking a spontaneous trip to Canada! What? ha! Good for them!), and a great episode of "Mad Men" and I'm filing my memories from a wondeful weekend away and focusing on the week ahead of me.

Healthy and happy living...like one of those great morning stretches that take over your entire body followed by a hearty, deep sigh of contentment coming from every bit of your heart...

Redesign...

It's been 6 months since I moved up to SF. I love my place. I love my neighborhood. I love my new bloglife. :) But, I'm itching for a change. It all started when I saw this picture in one of the blogs that I stalk.

Something about the yellow and white struck in my heart. I felt fresh, light, lovely. Another blog that I stalk (one of my favorites as she is all things fresh, light, and lovely) is having a yellow and white themed wedding. And now, I can't shake it. I want to redesign my small little studio in yellow and white. It's not fair to my SF pad that it had to inherit my LA style. Brown/Aqua/Lime green were so in for LA. But, I want something new.

I've searched high and wide online for any yellow and white bedding. Not goldenrod. Not mustard. Yellow...think daffodils and daisies...and white. Not beige. Not oatmeal. And here's the kicker...I don't want it to come across as too "country-home". I still want to maintain a bit of my contemporary flavor. I've had no luck.

I've checked Crate & Barrel, Bed Bath & Beyond, Macy's, Amazon, Pottery Barn, Restoration Hardware, and West Elm. I don't know where else to look. I wish I had a directory of some cute design/bedding stores that aren't your typical chains. I've gotten so desperate for a change that I've decided it doesn't necessarily have to be yellow and white. It can be any color combo (but white should be included...small space...white opens it up) that emits the feel of "fresh, light, and lovely".

So now, I implore you, faithful readers, to help me out. If you know of some obscure stores or websites that sell gorgeous bedding and can find anything that you think I may love, please email me links. Much appreciated.