I use the word "love" all the time. I love the San Diego Chargers. I love pineapple gelato. I love San Francisco. I love beer. I love fashion. I love my family. I love my friends. I love "Gossip Girl". love, love, love...
I don't use it flippantly...I really do have strong feelings towards these things...some more than others...but enough to want to stress an importance-level...enough to want to signify that there is a place in my heart for all of it...
I accidently said the "L" word to GQ...twice. Once, after our phenomenal holiday weekend together (Nutcracker, homemade Christmas dinner, presents) I was rushing to catch the BART and when I was getting out of his car, I kissed him and said "love ya". It hit me like a ton of bricks as soon as it happened. I ran off to catch the train and was scared to death of his reaction. (note: "love ya" and "I love you" are DIFFERENT...but to guys in new relationships, they're the same terrifying thing).
Saturday night, after 3 beers and an elated Chargers victory, GQ and I were chatting on the phone when an interview with Philip Rivers (Chargers' QB) comes on the tv. I rush to get off the phone and say "Gotta go. I love you. Bye". (note: "I love you. Bye" and "I love you" are also DIFFERENT...but to guys in new relationships, they're the same terrifying thing).
I freaked myself out with both incidents. But I chose not to bring it up with GQ. I didn't want to make a big deal of it. I say it when I get off the phone with my parents, my friends...why not my boyfriend...(uhhh...how about because its only been 3 months, crazy-Asian girl!?!). I can tell he has since been wigged out about it a bit too. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to set myself up to hear that he's "not ready yet" to say those words, etc. etc...
Ack. Grrrr. Ugh. Stooopid.
...get over it, Susan...
